Liitle-Big Sister

My story is about my best friend, my "little-big" sister. She is 3 years younger than me and most modest. Although her story is remarkable, she says she admires me most instead. We were raised in an extremely low-income society but both taught to be strong, smart females. At such a young adolescent age she was led into a world of desolation by a manipulative boyfriend. She had been lied to, cheated on, verbally and physically abused. She was made to feel like an ugly person and turned into something she was not proud of. She wasn’t even allowed to complete or continue her education during her relationships. She hit rock-bottom when she turned to drinking to medicate her pain and suffering until she realized that this was the same direction our father went and paid the ultimate price. She continued to turn to the family for strength to rebuild herself after she would continue to meet men that she and our family would approve of and yet would some how adjust into what they were truly about; unconstructiveness. Once even beat up and left for dead. She finally made the decision to take life back and went back to school. She even put herself through college by taking a bartending course and working off of a small hourly wage and tips. All this living on her own. She received her bachelor’s degree and later met a wonderful man that she married a few years ago. They tried for a long time to have a baby without success. They worked through fertilization assistance to finally have their first child. She did not give up and just two weeks ago delivered a baby girl she named Isabella. All the while I was doing well, taking care of my children as a divorcee, remarrying, having 4 boys of my own and maintaining a stable career. My sister would always say how she loved the way I raised my kids and if she could ever have children she would try and raise them the same way. And whenever I did hit a rough patch, all I had to do was call her and with never a mention of what was bothering her in her life she would help me. Because for my sister at that time it was all about me and my issue, my healing. The minute I would feel low, lonely, be limited in funds or simply needing an ear, she was there without question. I would ask how she was doing too since I knew her life wasn’t in the best order either. But she would treat me as though the only thing that mattered would be to help me until my head was on straight again. Then she could rest easy. I would feel guilty but she would never make me feel as though I owed her in any sense. I know I was there for her but never the way she was for me. When I went through my divorce and needed some grocery money for the week, not being used to the expenses, she would lend me what she had. When I moved out of my home and was not able to obtain another yet, she allowed my little family to stay with her in her small apartment as long as I needed. I find myself calling her just to see if she is ok, needs anything or just to see how is she doing but still I don’t feel like it is worth what she has emotionally done for me and my boys. Each time I try to be there for her, I don’t think it is enough. My job took me out of my home town for three years and I got a phone call from her yesterday that sent chills down my spine. This whole time she has struggled with having a child and suddenly she calls to ask me if I knew how serious a herniated umbilical cord was. I felt I could finally help her because I experienced this with one of my boys and knew she could breathe easier knowing my son grew out of it within months and it was not rare. But then I heard her take a breath (I could tell for once she was fighting back tears) and she asked “what about a heart murmur?” I was stunned and once again, I couldn’t help her. She had taken “Bella” to her first well-baby check up and the doctor found that she had this along with that herniated umbilical cord. It only took this for me to make a big decision. I am resigning my 7-year position with my company to ask for a transfer back home and if unavailable I will move back first and looking for work next. I am set to be there for her by the last week of October. This is just too many scary-sounding and unpredictable concerns for someone that wanted nothing more than to be strong, educated, in a deserved established relationship, and a mother. She needs me now and most of all I want more than anything to be there for her now not only in heart, but in person.

Christina, TX
Posted: October 08, 2008

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